How To Fix Any Emotional Upheaval In 20 Mins or Less

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Here is a concept that will absolutely set you free.

You see one of the core competencies, one of the main things, the biggest revolution in the human potential movement in the last 40-50 years being the emotional intelligence concept, one of the keys is what you do with your emotions.

So, it boils down to this…

We can summarize it with one sentence, and then talk about it for a hundred years.

The healing – is in the expression of – the feeling.

What that means is to be healed from some hurt or damage done to me I need to be able to speak it out, write it out, dance it out, sing it out, paint it out, but get it out of my system.

You see, what happens when we get hurt or damaged is that we’ll locate in-on-around that damage. We kind of shrink on to it, and we grip it so to speak.  Now, of course, it doesn’t look like that, doesn’t feel like that.  It feels like it’s gripping us.  But what’s happening is we are protecting ourselves from further damage, and we’re wanting to not let that thing get in, and do as much damage as it could. We feel like resisting, and it’s actually working for us.

But turning towards the feeling, seeking to explore it, seeking to explore it in such a way that you could describe it to a friend, very completely, is in fact a liberating experience.

Now if there isn’t anybody you can talk to about that, because you really only wanna do this with a trusted advisor and friend, then, you can write it out.  But, once you feel like you’ve done a good job with that writing, you need to destroy it. You know, flush it down the toilet, ceremonially burn it, whatever.  It’s the expression, not the having.

So, by writing it, and keeping it, you don’t do any more healing by keeping it.

There is one addendum to that, that I would say and that is sometimes you wanna write, and put it away and get it out, and then write some more.  So, you can revisit it. See what happens.

Essentially, you will know that this is working, if you end-up emotionally all over the place. Because when we say, turn towards the feeling, that’s to go back into it.  And most people don’t wanna do that, because they feel like the first time around they got hurt so badly, they would not survive the second time.  Or, you know, why would I do that?  It’s just plain ugly. You know, who wants to go feel some fear?  Who wants to be angry? Or, who wants to cry for ages.  So we tend to resist.

And that’s a problem.

What you gotta do, is give yourself a time in the calendar, where you say to yourself ‘I’m actually going to do this, you know what, Thursday 2 o’clock, I’m gonna turn-up, and I’m gonna do either some anger work, or some sadness work, or some fear work’.

You know, any of the “so-called” negative emotions.

On Thursday, 2 o’clock when you turn-up, you’re gonna be frustrated, cause you’re gonna say ‘well I’m not angry’.

What we say is fake it until you make it.

Just get on with it, and what you’ll find is that you are able to actually turn the feeling on, which means you’re in control.

So this is personal responsibility for feeling how you wanna feel, rather than being triggered by circumstances around you.  And rather than saying ‘she made me angry’, or ‘the comedian made me laugh’, which means you’re just a victim, what we’re saying is, if you can be personally responsible, you can take yourself to these feelings.  And as you do, as you express them, what happens is they become large, they feel like they’re gonna overwhelm, and then they dissipate, and you’re set free.

So keep expressing until you see this – *deep sigh*.

So at the end of a great laugh, at the end of great piece of anger work, at the end of a big cry, that’s what we do.  So an emotion successfully expressed is signified by at the end with – *deep sigh*, and a sense of relief.

Now, if that’s worked for you, and I’m sure, I promising you that it will, then that’s really a signal that it will be good for you to pursue more in the emotional intelligence field.