How To Stop Self Sabotage

So how do you stop self-sabotage?

Whether it’s in business or life in general, I get that question a lot. And it’s often from people who are making huge changes in their lives but they have reached a difficult point – a tipping point – where it’s really important to be paying attention to how they’re doing what they’re doing because it’s so easy to fall back into old patterns.

Self sabotage turns up and then we go, “Oh, shoot. I’ve done it again,” and we didn’t actually notice it happening.

 

 

This is when we need to engage some outside help.

Yes, you can be the observer, and you can step back, look at how you’re making your decisions and look at what you have done traditionally. That’s important.

(RELATED: Becoming Your Own Coach)

But if you’ve got some people around you that you trust, who can give you an outside perspective, it can really help as well.

Take me for example. The best thing that ever happened to me was when my daughter joined the company. As we started to go digital we had this whole avalanche of things that we needed to get done. They all need to be done yesterday and everything that we did didn’t produce the result that we thought it would – it just opened up the doorway for more work. At that point my temptation was to go back to how we had done things in the past.

 

 

Fortunately my daughter was really good at saying, “No, Dad, that’s what you’ve always done.”

So whoever you’ve got around you, ask them, can they keep an eye on you: the way that you’re arriving at your decisions and the way that you’re figuring out what the next step is and how to handle things.

(TIP: Naturally quick thinkers get themselves into trouble – they can answer straight away and as soon as they see an answer, they just start to act on it. The problem with that is that’s actually what they’re really good at doing. But it is habitual and the motivation will be to take away the current problem and not to look at the long-term consequences.)

You’ve got to keep looking long-term.

Reality is the more pressure there is on you, the more you will go for a short-term solution.

What you’ll find is if you’re looking big picture and long-term, you get a much better, a much higher quality decision than if you’re looking at How do I make this problem go away?

For most of us, it boils down to that.

How do I make this problem go away?

For most people, the way to make most problems go away is to throw money at them.

 

 

Take a car for example. The car’s a bit of a problem. It’s running out of rego, the tyres are a bit cactus. We haven’t really got the money, but let’s get a new one anyway.

Typically, that’s just ‘how do we make this problem go away’ rather than the long-term thinking that says, Is there another way? Is there a better way to solve this problem that gives us a longer-term solution than just get it out of our way at the moment?

I don’t mean to say that we all throw money at every problem that we’ve got. But let’s face it. We do want a solution yesterday and generally speaking, it’s the fast solutions that get us into the most trouble.

So give that a run. If you trust the people that you’re with and you figure that they’ve got a level of insight into you and how you operate, then more power to you.

(I’m lucky. I would take a bullet for my daughter, so if she’s got something to tell me, I’d better listen).

If you’ve got someone at that level, fantastic.

If you haven’t, then you want to encourage that kind of thinker to develop within your life.