5 Steps To Using Emotional Intelligence

Okay, like a lot of us, I’m keen to shift a few kilos (I look OK with a shirt on – not so much without).

And once I’m on a downward kilo trajectory, it’s easy to keep refusing the temporary satisfaction of a pie ‘n’ sauce washed down with a cleansing (????) coke.

But, it doesn’t mean I have my weight under control.

I’m often disappointed enough with what the scales say each morning to be ‘good’ all the way through to about 4 in the afternoon. By then ‘good’ becomes ‘going without’ – and resistance becomes futile.

The feeling that kept me going all day suddenly turned into something that ruined my plans, my day, my self-confidence and my self-esteem.

(Can you guess which one of these does the most damage?)

RELATED: 139 Top Tips To Skyrocket Your Self Confidence!

So what’s going on?

In the example described above I am demonstrating a lack of Emotional Intelligence.

It appears to me that my emotions have just grabbed control and are running away with my plans.

But this can only happen if I respond to those feelings as they are taking place.

So what would happen if I slowed it all down by…

1. Acknowledging the feeling (I’m feeling hungry);

2. Having a big glass of water (how easy is that!);

3. Exploring the feeling (Am I really hungry? What is under that feeling? Am I lonely, bored, scared, lost, procrastinating?)

4. Giving expression to the feeling (make the sound of it, write about it in my journal, paint it, draw it, sing about it);

5. Allowing hunger to be a ‘good’ feeling (eg: turn it into ‘this is what it feels like to lose weight’).

For me (and 100% of my clients) this process works.

Why?

Because it’s Emotional Intelligence in action.

I’m using my thinking abilities to work with my feelings.

The key is to acknowledge the feeling but not to act on it.

RELATED: Emotional Intelligence – The Only Known Predictor of Future Success

So what’s the Technique?

(Lets have a look at how it works with the classic example of impulse buying – “I want that chocolate while I stand here at the checkout”…)

No. 1. Acknowledge the feeling (I want that chocolate – I can have it now and they can scan the wrapper);

No. 2. Take a moment / give yourself a gap (have a big glass of water – you’ll notice there is water at the impulse buying level too);

No. 3. Explore the feeling (Am I really hungry? What is under that feeling? Am I lonely, bored, scared, lost, procrastinating?);

No. 4. Give expression to the feeling (make the sound of it, write about it in your journal, paint it, draw it, sing about it)

You probably don’t want to do this step at the check out.
The car park is fine…

No. 5. Allow the uncomfortable feeling to be a ‘good’ feeling (eg: “I can be temporarily satisfied now with a mouth full of happiness or I can be richly rewarded later by a huge dose of self satisfaction, confidence in self and ending up skinny too – better drink some water quick!”)

If you are prepared to give it a go – this kind of self-talk can turn into massive self-control.

Want to learn even more? Check out our Emotional Intelligence tips here