One of My Fear Busting Techniques Explained

Fear

The Number One “Blocker” to Success In Anything.

 

Fear drives 99% of all human behaviour.

Fear of rejection creates call reluctance among sales people.

Fear of continuing, agonising pain of depression causes suicide.

Fear of public humiliation stops people speaking to groups.

Fear of loss means investors either lose sleep or stop investing.

Fear of being fired stops bullied employees from saying something.

Fear of embarrassment stops people asking for help.

Fear of the unknown stop people trying something new.

Fear of heights creates paralysis and terror.

Fear of messing up stops people starting their own business.

Fear of looking stupid stops people starting a class in something new.

Fear of ridicule and argument stops people speaking up.

Fear of being ostracised means people won’t disagree with a group.

Fear of failure stops people starting something new, liberating, exciting, different.

Fear that the doctor will find something ‘bad’ stops men visiting regularly.

We could go on and on…

The advertisers hammer fear.

(You’ll look bad if you don’t…, You’ll feel bad if you do…)

The politicians can’t leave it alone.

(Vote for the other side and the world ends…)

Teachers use it constantly.

(Do your homework or….)

Parents can’t avoid it.

(Stranger danger, study hard or be a bum, practice, practice, practice or you fail…)

Managers rely on it.

(Work harder or be replaced)

Again, we could go on and on…

The “cure” gets served up with bone jarring regularity.

Just face your fears and they will suddenly get scared of you and run away – never to be seen again.

Sure.

Just pretend that you are Mel Gibson, paint your face blue and scream at the enemy. Braveheart was about standing up for your country and your beliefs in the face of almost certain death.

All good.

Except for the death and torture bit.

Most of us don’t want to die just yet so we avoid anything that might be even remotely related to it.

(This is where the expression “scared to death” comes from.)

Many of us use fear to motivate ourselves to do the things we would otherwise avoid.

(our coaches are quick to use it on us too)

It goes like this…

YOU: “I’m afraid to pick up the phone and call xyz because they might reject me.”

COACH: “But think about NOT calling them. You’ll make no sales. You’ll end up broke. You’ll let yourself and your family down!

COACH: (louder) “So pick up that damn phone before you end up a broke loser!”

Or it goes like this between your ears…

REAL YOU: I’d think I’ll eat chocolate and watch TV this afternoon.

OTHER YOU: You’ll end up fat and ugly. Get changed and go for a run.

REAL YOU: OK…

The truth is we haven’t mastered fear we are responding to it.

(I stopped smoking cause I’m scared of a horrible, painful, expensive and early death – is fear again)

(On this occasion we name the fear as a “good” one.)

The only solution I have found in 32 years of teaching self mastery is that we have to transform fear.

Like the alchemists of fairy tales we need to turn lead into gold.

Metaphorically the lead is fear and the gold is excitement.

They are the same bodily sensations.

(shaking, shallow breathing, heart pounding, adrenalin rush, eyes dilated)

You work with yourself when you transform the fear of speaking in public into the excitement of delivering your truth, your message, your belief and of course…

…you work against yourself when you tell yourself to just face the fear and maybe it will go away.

Thats the solution.

(look for the excitement)

Let’s look at the application of this knowledge.

All personal blockages live in the subconscious.

(if they were thoughts they would be conscious and we could just change them)

Therefore they are emotions – not thoughts.

When looking for a blockage to success – look in the subconscious.

Look for what you might be afraid of.

At first this will be tricky because your thinking will tell you that you are not afraid of being rich, scared of being happily married or worried about the future.

But check your behaviours.

They will be manifestations of a fear that you have no idea exists because you successfully suppressed it years ago.

This makes you think the fear disappeared years ago.

I’m saying it merely vanished from view and is silently controlling you.

  • If you’ve ever eaten something whilst telling yourself not to – what I’m saying will be familiar.
    (I’m lonely and want some loving, a treat etc – I’m scared this loneliness won’t end)
  • If you’ve ever yelled at the kids while telling yourself not to…
    (it’s getting out of control – I’m scared of what might happen)
  • If you’ve ever bought a 12 month gym membership and stopping attending after 6 weeks…
    (It’s working! I’m looking good! I might get hit on… I’m scared I won’t handle it)

It’s imperative that you go on this search and destroy mission.

Without it – fear is running your life.